I currently live alone and whilst harmlessly cooking myself fish and chips in the kitchen on Monday evening I became trapped. The inner kitchen door suddenly wouldn’t open.

In normal circumstances there would be no need to panic but a quick realisation took over. I had no door or window keys on my possession or in the room.

I had no mobile phone on me because I was only wearing shorts and t-shirt and I was also barefoot.

I had no access to a landline because my landlord had just moved out and BT disconnected the line.

So I was home alone, in a room with no visible means of escape. I didn’t panic as I’m sure I’d just be able to push the door open. Little did I know.

A-team style I quickly took stock of what tools I had to my disposal. I found a broom, a mop and a powerful torch.

I checked the fridge. No food but there was a dozen Corona and a bit of milk. There was some frozen veg and fishfingers in the freezer. Still no panic. I’ve got enough to get through the night and into the next day if need be.

I pushed the door and managed to get a gap at the top but for some reason the bottom just wouldn’t budge, no matter how much strength I applied.

I opened the kitchen blinds hoping to get the attention of the neighbours and thought I’d try a bit of SOS. I shone the torch directly onto their back bedroom windows and bathrooms which were occupied. Not one looked outside.

I banged on the neighboors wall next door but I knew that was false hope as they were away. Panic became creeping in, so I went to smash a pane of glass on the door.

I used the back of the broom at full force and there wasn’t even a budge. 3 more attempts and I knew I could soon be sleeping on a cold kitchen floor until the next house visitor.

Panic really set in then. Who shall that visitor be? Do I have to wait 12 hours for the postman to arrive and just hope that he hears me shout ‘help’ when he delivers the mail?

Or do I have to wait 3 weeks when the window cleaner comes around? Do they even window clean during November? I wasn’t in the mood to wait another hour.

I just knew I had to get through it, even if it meant cutting myself to bits.

Back in A-team mode I found a strong spare cupboard door and used this to wedge in the little gap that I created at the top. The top of the door had a gap but not enough for my frame.

So I went back to SOS mode and wrote on a piece of paper ‘SOS – Trapped’ and at one point was going to write the same using washing up liquid on the window. It was pitch black and nobody would have seen it.

I banged on the UPVC window and put the radio on full but still nobody looked out of their windows.

It was then fight-or-flight kicked in and I went for the door at full strength. I knew the only option was to push it from the top until it finally cracked.

Soon I could hear panes of glass cracking and shards sprayed everywhere. Now I had hope. It was then that I could see what the problem was.

The wall had recently been plastered and the skirting board hadn’t been secured properly. As the kitchen door shut, the vibration made the skirting board to fall and this lodged the kitchen door firmly shut.

I grabbed through a whole in the door to move the piece of wood but this itself was firmly lodged.

90 minutes later I could see the light but there was still not enough for me to get to the other side of that door.

So I smashed and removed a few more panes and once I saw a suitable hole I raised myself through and came out the other side.

I was so relieved. Even on the other side of the door it took me a while to remove the skirting board, which I later found had fell before, trapping someone else. In their case, they had a kitchen door key so didn’t think anything of it.

So here I am now. Alive and almost well. I have a bad back but I’m booked in for a massage at the end of the week.

I am still without a BT phone line and that could have been a life saver. So come on BT get it installed.

All the Corona remains in the fridge, at least until I buy some lime.

Some of us affiliates have day jobs and have to spend a rotten 50 minutes waiting for and using public transport to get from home to work. Listening to people coughing, sneezing or frantically ringing bosses that they’re stuck in traffic is not the most efficient use of time.

So I use my travel time as an opportunity to read some of my emails on my Sony Ericsson K800i and catch up on the latest affiliate marketing news and gossip.

Using Opera Mini which is free to download, I can quickly see which of my favourite affiliate authors have updated content by looking in the RSS folder.

My favourite is the Affiliate Marketing Blog from UK Offer Media. This is Kieron’s blog, recognised as a ’super affiliate’ at a4uexpo 2007 and he updates every other day on a wide range of affiliate subjects.

The posts are concise and appeal to seasoned and new affiliates alike. Reading the post via RSS, the website design is stripped out so that you can ignore all the navigation and banner advertising and get straight to the content.

Even in this most basic format the post is recognisable by its tone of voice.

The ‘Apple iPhone‘ post includes a crisp clean image that grabs your attention. The post includes emotion, fact and humour. With all his posts, Kieron signs off with ‘What I’m listening to right now’ which adds a very personal touch.

If I want to interact with the post or read some of the user generated comments I can click the headline. You then see the Affiliate Marketing Blog is optimised for small screen devices and takes up two pages, demonstrating that you don’t need a fancy new iPhone to browse the Internet.

A couple of scrolls takes you past the headline, strapline, RSS and most popular posts.

The text presents well and by the time you’ve read the post and comments, you’ve viewed approximately 60% of the 40k page.

The best aspect of this blog via mobile is that you can still interact with it on the move. Many other blogs and forums make it difficult if not impossible to interact via mobile, as they struggle to handle the forms or use captcha images that do not display.

At here.org.uk you can simply add a comment by entering your name, email and website address and if you’re a previous poster it will be added immediately.

Kieron’s blog is perfect reading to start or end the working day. His well written content can be absorbed before you have to leave that busy public transport.

Between my massage on the first day of the a4uexpo and the bar closing at the post-party, I’d already made my five point plan to keep me busy and profitable over the next six months.

It wasn’t a hard decision to come to, as I’d already started talking to a few people close to home about my future plans. It was just that the sessions at the Excel and the subsequent chats at the Fox and Novotel hotel bar, confirmed my ideas.

So this is what I’m doing in the coming weeks and months to enhance my business, which is currently focussed on Shop Codes UK.

BRAND

Shop Codes is 18 months old and is now known around the affiliate industry by my presence on the Affiliates4u site. It was clear to me though that some people at some networks didn’t know much about me or my site.

At the moment I have three brands. There is “Ray Theakston”, the cheeky little Northern chap. There’s “Befuddle” which is my company name, pseudonym and name of my celebrity site that made its first affiliate sale on 25th October 2000.

Then there’s “Shop Codes”. You wouldn’t think that would be a difficult brand to master but in this post already I’ve used both “Shop Codes” and “Shop Codes UK”. Did you spot that? I have recently experimented with targeting non-UK merchants and so the brand will be important to tie down. Especially for where I want to drive the site in 2008 and 2009.

DESIGN

I’ve a designer working on redesigning my site to make it more professional whilst keeping the flavour of it’s ‘back-bedroom’ roots. Only last week he showed me a printout of a potential new home page. I liked what I saw. The design is not too different to where the site is today.

I didn’t want it to look too corporate but importantly I didn’t want to lose its good conversation rate. It was only the first draft too and so I look forward to further iterations.

CMS

I manually edit my site by hand and whilst it’s built using php, I still have to manually edit the files when the voucher codes expire. With the growing number of codes, I’ve found this is too time consuming, particularly at the end of the month, when typically 10% of existing codes expire.

So, I’ve had a meeting with a developer and talked through my requirements for a content management system. The plan is to have a simple solution in place for the first pass so that we can see what content is delivered by automated processes. As a part time affiliate, a CMS system will provide a lot of ease and will move me forward to my fourth and fifth plans.

MOBILE

If only I knew session 10 existed I wouldn’t have had to chew so many ears for the first two nights and day about lack of mobile advancement by the merchants and networks.

I was amazed by some of the negativity about mobile but PriceRunner seem to be doing well out of it, according to Gary Goodman, MD of ValueClick.

Many are clearly not thinking about mobile in 2007 and I bet when I see them at a4uexpo in 2008 they won’t be thinking about mobile for 2009. However, in those ‘lost’ years consumers are spending millions on mobile phone content and services.

I’m staking my claim for a bit of the plot as I type. I’ve a company working on developing my Shop Codes website for mobile. I took the opportunity to speak to several networks on how I can monetise the platform and extract revenue from my exclusive codes. These talks will obviously progress more seriously, rather than over a beer, once I’ve launched on that platform.

UGC

I’ve currently no interactivity on my Shop Codes site and so I shall be expanding on User Generated Content. I don’t just want methods for users to submit codes that I can then approve but I want it for B2B purposes. I often get sent emails from merchants to promote codes. However, they don’t have affiliate schemes and so sometimes I don’t promote them.

With mobile there will be plenty of opportunity for user-generated content too with text messaging of codes.

BRAND (20%), DESIGN (20%), CMS (20%), MOBILE (20%), UGC (20%)

There’s a lot of work to be done. Isn’t it the case that If i make a start or improve on each of those by 20%, I’ll see an 80% benefit?

There’s no timetable for the work to start and end but if I can have them all in place by Spring 2008, that will give me 6 months to assess what improvements they’ve brought me in terms of traffic, loyalty, revenue, exclusive content and industry respect.

I’ll then go into a4uexpo 2008 with a pad ready to draw up my next five-point plan. See you there!

Often when you go to Spain you think ‘I could live here and update my sites from my laptop’. Forgetting the fact that you can’t see the screen for the sun glare.

Well I had one of those moments whilst drinking a nice chilled cider at the Waterfront pub on Lamma Island, Hong Kong. I was taking advantage of the free wifi and one afternoon quietly updated my site whilst overlooking the sea.

And I was thinking this is the life. At the time it was too hot at 34 degrees and it was an ideal time to do a bit of work until the sun cooled later in the afternoon.

Just as I was wondering if I could replicate my Shop Codes site for the Hong Kong market, I received a message from Stefan Janssens of YesAsia. Via Facebook, he offered me the chance of a meeting and company visit.

I didn’t take up the offer as it was approaching the end of my holiday but I did some small research on the shopping habits and spends of the people of Hong Kong.

So YesAsia was strongly in my mind for one of the shops I could promote for that market. I also thought designer petwear would be a good type of product to market because they do love their dogs on Lamma Island.

Then when I returned from holiday, Webgains announced the launch of YesStyle.com and Stefan kindly set me up with an Exclusive code.

All I needed now was a domain and I acquired Shop Codes HK last week.

So, that’s where I’m at. I won’t be launching the site fully until my other developments are in place. In the meantime, there is a holding page and a sign-up form for my RSS feed.

Now all I need to research is which merchants deliver to Hong Kong and this is where I want your help. If you’re a merchant that targets or delivers to Hong Kong, I’d like to know.

You can either post comments here or send me an email message via the affiliate network channels.

I’m interested to know what the delivery charges are for instance.

This project may or may not be a success. Ultimately I believe it will be if I do put the time and effort into it. I am buoyed though by the recent sales I’ve made for the German market.